A brief history of the Cullen family
(or, why the secondary characters suck)
Rosalie
Wow, a bitchy female character, who’d have thunk it? Like Esme, Rosalie reminds us that the most cherished precious desire of every woman is to be a baby-maker. Oh, and her only other personality trait is being really, really ridiculously good-looking.
Alice
Alice, arguably the most feminist (read: self-respecting) female character, has an abusive and submissive past. Now as a kick-ass vampire, she cares about nothing more than helping her tortured boyfriend Jasper control his blood-lust, and shopping.
Esme
Typically tragically baby-crazy, Esme wants an infant more than anything. But she can’t produce her own - because she’s a certified member of the youth and beauty brigade. She’s a failed woman because of it. Aside from this, looking classically gorgeous, and a hint of jealousy when all the forks female nurses flirt with her inappropriately hot husband, Esme has no defining features.
Jasper
The most interesting character in the franchise, and we get barely any screen/page time with him. Fail, Stephanie Meyer, fail.
Carlisle
So much inappropriate sexual tension with Bella! That’s all I’m saying.
Emmett
Typical jock with a heart of gold. If all of Meyer’s female characters are anti-feminist, then all of her male characters are just so stereotypical it hurts. Why even bother talking about them?
Leah
Not a Cullen, but arguably the most tragically sabotaged character in the series. As the only female werewolf, her existence should be a chance for Meyer to create a kick-ass, powerful, a-typical woman. But instead, Meyer portrays the betrayed Leah as a ‘whiny’, ‘annoying’ ‘harpy’, hated and rejected by her brothers. You go grrl!
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